Home Forums Making the Decision Just do it and stop the physical and mental anguish

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    • #998 Reply
      Dennis Taylor

      I’m glad you have shared your experience and provided this website for others who are considering the issue. I noticed from other websites that the percentage of circumcisions in the USA is going down. That is too bad from my perspective. It probably is a result of the quite vocal women’s groups who think the infant is seriously injured by the pain during the procedure, but that is not true for 2 reasons: One website explains that the infant for several days has a natural ability to deal with the pain right after the major trauma of childbirth, and #2, they have ways to deaden the pain.
      My experience was different so let me explain. When my brother and I were about 4 and 5 years old, we were taken to the doctor because our penises were swollen and inflamed. I think back now that phimosis must be hereditary, because we certainly had it. I’m 69 and can still remember the intense pain when the doctor forced the foreskin down to clean underneath. He said to clean regularly so several times a week I endured the same pain which gradually got better in my teens. Then the problem came back as a married man in my 30’s.
      But a worse pain for me was enduring the jokes and humiliation from the boys in the Jr. High locker room. That alone would be reason enough to have all of my boys circumcised, which I did. Talk about the damaged male psyche. But I noticed one thing – all of the leaders in Jr. and Sr. high school were circumcised. They exuded an attitude of self confidence and self assurance that most of us uncut boys didn’t have. They also went on to bigger and better jobs in most cases. In fact, through that period of my life I grew to be ashamed of my body, and later feared what would happen on my marriage night. By covering myself, I managed to get through it all.
      Later, I began having the same problem with the pain and swelling, in spite of my trying to continually retract it and keep it stretched. The end of the foreskin was too small to retract, and during intercourse began tearing in several places causing pain, and the female fluids caused burning. The frenulum tore as well. Sex became too painful for a while to endure. I managed to hide these problems from her.
      So, I had the procedure done, which was very painful especially when I had the erections the first couple of days and the doctor had given me only a couple of tubes to break in half and smell to stop the situation when I needed about 20. But I was so glad to be rid of the pain. I had a beautiful member like all of the other boys. I realized something else that I hadn’t expected. Sex was better for me and for my wife, because the corona of the gland was no longer covered up or even with the shaft but stuck out and became the instrument to provide much more pleasure to both of us.
      So, am I glad I did it? Yes, it changed my life in many ways – all for the better. Think of what my life would have been like if it had been done at birth. Would I recommend that all boys be circumcised at birth? Absolutely! All of the objections that have previously been advanced, i.e. the trauma and pain, the medical health risks are now so minimal that people are stupid to even bring them up. Get informed and get it done. It’s not a big deal for a baby but it is a big deal for an adult to have it done. And why put your son through the psychological pain in the shower room when he doesn’t have to endure that.

    • #999 Reply

      I’ve read your very well-written post several times.I’m not circumcised and
      considering getting circumcised. Your experience in the locker room is truly
      traumatic,and even today, not uncommon. Circumcision rates vary by region in the
      USA. I can relate to the body shame issues you mentioned. Personally, I think the
      comments from American women about the uncut penis are truly nasty and can do some major psychological damage. I’ve experienced some of this myself, and have
      been working on some of these issues. One of the reasons for the drop in USA
      circumcision rates is the influx of immigrants from countries that do not circumcise. Also, the anti-circumcision movement is pretty vocal, and it’s not just women. While I favor circumcision being offered as a personal choice starting at puberty, I respect those who decide to have their sons circumcised as infants. Bottom line: It’s about time that, as a society, we start to learn and teach tolerance and respect of others.

      • #1021 Reply

        This is a follow-up to my post of 10-28-2013. Dennis, I read your post again, and in many respects you are spot-on. You stated that you are 69 years of age.Fast forward to 2013. Things aren’t radically different from when you grew up. I’m uncircumcised, and am considering getting it done. I have been doing a considerable amount of internet searches concerning circumcision. In the process I came across forum/message board sites aimed at teens. These sites, Virtual Teen and Govteen, contain some very eye-opening posts. From what I have read on these sites, the majority of American girls prefer circumcised penises. These posts are public, so the info is easily available. Among the posts are those from teens who have chosen to get circumcised, and teens who have had to get circumcised because of medical issues. The majority of teens are glad to be cut and don’t want their foreskins back. Some of the same locker room issues you faced still happen today. The worst is rejection from girls. Virtually every 13-14 year old boy in the USA knows what girls think of the foreskin. Some are OK with the foreskin;many are not. I know from experience that psychological pain is sometimes worse that physical pain. At one time, I was anti-circ, however, over time, my views have changed because I have had to face my own issues honestly. While ideally I support the philosophy of “his body-his choice”, if I ever have a son and I’m living in an area of the US where the majority of boys are cut, my son will be circumcised. I don’t want any son of mine to have to go through the bad feelings that I’ve gone through. I sincerely hope that things will change, and boys can make the choice at puberty to get cut if they so desire. I think some of the anti-circ folks need to pull their heads out of the sand and read some of the comments of these teens; especially those who chose to get circumcised and are happy. They would be really surprised.

    • #1156 Reply
      michael banks

      uncut with torned over skin making life terrible. sez is painful,skin to tight to pull back sometimes. want to get cut just to stop the pain but scared

    • #1157 Reply

      I was circumcised at my own decision six months ago aged 57. It is something I had wanted for many years, and now it is done I can only say that I wish I had done it 30 or 40 years ago. I had always preferred the look of the circumcised penis.

      Once you think you want to do it, then the desire will not go away until you do. I found various reasons not to go though with it, including training my foreskin to stay pulled back. (That was useful, as the glans did not have to get accustomed to being exposed!) It is a state of mind as much as of body, and there will be mental anguish until you get it done. I feel a lot more relaxed in my mind, and am very pleased with the physical result.

      (For info, I am in UK. There is surprisingly high rate of elective adult circumcisions here now.)

    • #1159 Reply

      Hi Nick,

      Glad to hear that your circumcision went well and that you are pleased with the results. I’m considering getting circumcised for both body image and health reasons. It’s interesting to find that there is an increase in elective adult circumcisions in the UK. I guess you are never “too old” to get circumcised.

    • #1163 Reply

      Never too old indeed! I would say do it as soon as you can. You are obviously thinking of yourself as a circumcised man, and you need to make that a reality. You will feel better in yourself once you do.

    • #1188 Reply

      Interesting comments on uncut guys having been ashamed of their intact statuses. I grew up in an affluent town in the Northeast. My experiences were exactly opposite some of yours where you were uncomfortable, even ashamed, of being intact. Circumcision was rarely seen in our locker rooms but there was never any ridicule of those who had had their foreskins removed. For you guys who are responding to your own experiences of earlier years by having your sons done your kids will very likely still be the odd ones out as circ rates are falling rapidly in the USA matching the circ rates that have always been very low or non-existent in the majority of other countries. I do not believe that anyone, parent or otherwise, has the right to force circumcision or any other permanent disfigurement of someone else’s body. Most modern parents are becoming enlightened and are leaving the circumcision choice to the owner of the body. That is called respect. In time laws will provide protection for the child. His mature circumcision decision will be what he wants not what someone else feels should be done to modify his body. Regardless we must respect one another.

    • #1198 Reply

      I agree…get it done…the sooner, the better. I had it done last week at age 62 and am still in the recovery/healing process, but I have no regrets other than not doing it sooner. I went through the junior high anxieties, feeling “different” than the other guys, and even throughout my marriage have caught myself covering up and feeling embarrassed about having a foreskin. My wife finally told me that women much prefer a cut partner. I have had a lot of erection problems that I think have had a mental component because the foreskin kept getting in the way. She would get frustrated, and I would lose the erection. Finally, a month ago, I said “enough” and made an appointment with my urologist to get it done. I like the look and the feel, and I am eager to try out the “new” appendage. My wife says she is looking forward to taking away my new virginity. So am I.

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