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October 3, 2022 at 8:22 am #48106BertrandGuest
I’ve been considering circumcision for quite sometime now, and I want to take steps towards it, but I don’t know how to raise the issue with my mother.
I’m still living at home with my mother, and while I’m old enough to go with it (I’m 19), I’m still unsure and undecided, and I really want to share it with someone.
My mother and I have always gotten along well; we’re very close. We talk about everything together, and she’s never judged me or put me down in any way. In fact, she’s one of those mothers who will give you advice on anything, no matter what it is.
So you’re probably thinking “Great! Go for it and ask her directly!” but it’s still very personal to talk about wanting to get rid of your foreskin with your own mother. It’s not something that happens every day, and I just don’t feel comfortable talking about it as openly as I feel I should.
In my mind, that sort of stuff is something that should be discussed with your family before it’s done, but I can’t bring myself to tell my mother.
I’m also scared she’ll be against it, after all, I’m uncut and she’s aware of it so there’s a possibility that she won’t like the idea of having a son who’s circumcised of she didn’t take the decision to have me circumcised when she could have.
I don’t know how to bring this up without feeling awkward about it. I don’t know how she’ll feel that I’m unhappy with the penis she gave me and that I’m looking to change it. She may not understand why I would do such a thing. I don’t even think I fully understand it myself to be honest.
So I’m asking you: if you were in my position, how would you bring up the topic? How would you approach it? I’d appreciate any advice, from anyone, whether they have experienced something similar to it or not.
If you are a mother, how would you feel if your uncircumcised son came to you and asked to be circumcised? What advice would you give him? How would you like to be told?
Is there a way I could slowly ease the conversation and get her thinking about foreskins subtly before I actually bring circumcision and my own foreskin up as a serious discussion?
I’m really worried and uncertain about all of this, and I need help. This is a big decision that’s going to affect my life in many ways, and I really need some guidance.
Thanks in advance everyone, even if you are just reading this.
October 3, 2022 at 11:17 am #48107ScanianDudeGuest
Hi bertrand, my mother was probably just like yours (so awesome)
unfortunatly my mother passed away long before I got cut so never had the chance that you have
Anyway since you can talk about everything with her, begin talking about girls and sex (you dont say if you are straight, bi or gay so just adapt to your preference)
when you are talking about sex, stray away into gential piercings (like prince albert) and from there it is easy to go into the circumsision topic just say that you know someone that is cut or even better heard girls saying that they prefer it
If my mother was alive that is how I would have done it, we could talk about anything and everything and yet just like you, getting circ would be a bit wierd to talk to her about
Hope this helps
October 3, 2022 at 11:31 am #48108ScanianDudeGuest
I might add too, since I am a father (to a girl) anyway if I had a boy I would let the circ topic be his decision when he would come to age (unless medical) and I would support his decision either way
My brother is uncut and his two sons are too, but my brother knows my status and if he ever asks for advice I will give it
I have told my siblings and my best friends wife and a few nurses that helped me during healing scares (turned out to be normal healing still scary lol) when I got done 13 years ago
My partner of course also knows but i was cut 3-4 months or so before we met
October 3, 2022 at 11:31 am #48109PeterGuest
You didn’t say what country you are living in.
My mum explained circumcision when I was 8. At bath time she would retract my foreskin.
I think she was in favour of it as she knew several young men who had to have it done.
October 4, 2022 at 12:45 am #48113arGuest
I think it is less of a big deal than some might think really. Better fitting condoms, lower risk of stds and safer sex kinda make it common sense. Your mother likely left you unsnipped because she respects your individual choice in that matter. I doubt she would get that upset if you decided to go for it.
October 5, 2022 at 10:13 am #48118CharlieGuest
Bertrand, I’m trying to figure out why you feel the need to try to convince your mother! You are 19, it’s your penis not hers. The doctor doesn’t need her permission to circumcise you. The only reason I can think of is if you need her to pay for the circumcision. I am going to assume that your father is not in the family any longer since you haven’t mentioned him. If he is available you might discuss with him. I think most mothers always want their children to be happy. That being said, if you really feel you need her permission, just throw out embarrassment and tell her you are going to get circumcised because it’s what you want and you will feel better about you! Why would she care about you losing for foreskin?
October 8, 2022 at 6:39 pm #48148JamesGuest
As much as this is your own decision as an adult, if you do feel the need to seek your mothers permission/assurance, then maybe you could start a conversation by saying you’ve noted over the years that some guys have exposed heads and some don’t. That you were curious about why, did some research and found that circumcision was a thing. From there you could casually ask why didn’t you choose to have me circumcised? I’m sure she’ll give you a matter of fact answer which you can then guide yiur conversation from. Mention to her that you think it’s a good look and it’s something you would like to experience because is feels right to you.
Who knows, she may surprised you with an answer along the lines of she wanted to but couldn’t afford it at the time or finding a willing practicioner was too difficult. I know plenty of mums in that boat here in Australia. If it was free and somewhat routine here today, I can guarantee you the rate would jump over 50% pretty quickly.
Good luck, don’t be shy, and keep us in the loop.
BTW what country are you from?
October 11, 2022 at 1:58 pm #48176J90Guest
I don’t think there’s a real need to discuss it if you don’t want to. Recovery is pretty uneventful, and lots of guys are circumcised, it’s hardly joining a satanic cult.
October 29, 2022 at 7:19 am #48287BertrandGuest
Thanks a lot for all of your answers, I’ve received a lot of great advice and ideas. I really appreciate them. I’ll definitely try to talk to my mom about it soon. I still haven’t found the courage to breach the topic, mostly because I’m afraid of how she’ll react, especially considering I’m still living with her. There’s also the problem of cost, I live in Canada, and only a few private clinics offer circumcision, and I didn’t find anything below four thousands dollars, which is way more than I can afford. That’s also part of the reason why I want to convince my mom that my foreskin should be removed. My mom hasn’t said anything about money, but I can imagine that she might not be able to afford it. So I was thinking of ways for the both of us to save money, because there are a lot of things that we can do to cut down on costs. This might be really controversial but I was thinking of pretending of having phimosis or some other medical condition that makes circumcision necessary, in order to lower the price and get my mom to agree that my foreskin has to go. But I don’t want to lie, and I have a feeling the doctor would notice if I was trying to pretend being unable to retract my foreskin.
October 29, 2022 at 11:20 am #48291BertrandGuest
What do you mean by that? I’m confused
October 29, 2022 at 6:50 pm #48296ScanianDudeGuest
there seems to be atleast two spammers one that uses everyones name and adds “crybaby” and the other adds “kiddo” just ignore since it is obviously not the real kenneth but a low iq spammer
October 29, 2022 at 7:20 pm #48297DwayneGuest
Yes recurrent balanitis is a valid medical reason. I found mine was triggered by string soap, especially anti-bacteria variety and also I think those liquid laundry detergents could make it quite sore for a few days.
October 29, 2022 at 7:21 pm #48298DwayneGuest