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    • #45572 Reply
      Stacey
      Guest

      I should start with this. I’ve been reading posts here for a long time and they’ve been so helpful! Thanks for everyone that shares what they go through and their tips and points, it’s helped me a lot getting my boyfriend to where he is already. You’ve already done so much for me.

      Where I am now is he’s at the point where he’s considering getting circumcised, but hasn’t committed. He’s always been one of the guys that takes the “yeah, maybe someday” approach to getting it done. Lately though he’s been a lot more open to “today might be someday?” He’s been a lot more open to my suggestions lately, I just don’t want to be too forceful.

      So I guess what I’m wondering is what’s the best way to nudge him? :)

    • #45573 Reply
      matt
      Guest

      If you’re in the UK, book an appointment at a private clinic. There’s plenty of them. Personally I’ve found the Thornhill Clinic to be great, the ladies that take the bookings are super friendly and either consultant (both called Mr Khan) will serve your requirements exceptionally well, putting you both at ease and completely normalising the process for you. Luton is worth the trip for the quality of service you’ll receive (in my opinion). Give them a call and put a day in the diary. If you can get your boyfriend to call them to talk to them, it’ll probably help to calm any nerves too.

      • #45582 Reply
        Stacey
        Guest

        Matt-

        We’re both from Europe, Irish and Swiss, but living in the US and now also Us citizens. So we have a little of that notion of circumcision is bad, unless you’re royalty or wealthy or just are tired of being told that it’s only for the first two. Anyway, we aren’t there now, but thanks for the advice. If this lasts long enough until we’re back I’ll keep it in mind.

        • #45597 Reply
          matt
          Guest

          circumcision is pretty much standard spec in the US. You should be able to get a circumcision arranged pretty easily I would have thought.

    • #45575 Reply
      Martin
      Guest

      I think you perhaps should be forceful given the known cleanliness and health benefits of circumcision. Tell him it is really important to you that he be circumcised and that he should do it for you.
      Tell him how much better it will be for him to be low and very tightly cut, he will last much longer when you are making love.
      Circumcision is very important to my new partner, for her being uncut is unacceptable and although I was already circumcised she requested that I go and get a lower, tighter cut, which I did. She was right it is better.
      As Matt says take the initiative and call a clinic, make a booking for him to have a consultation, most clinics offer these and then it is easier to go straight onto the operation as you are already there.

      • #45576 Reply
        matt
        Guest

        I used to work with a couple of ladies one under 40 and one over 50, and both their husbands were circumcised. They were quite open about how they each have a zero tolerance policy on uncircumcised men. It’s not uncommon, even in a non-circumcising country that some women, and these two were both white women, one a christian, the other non-religious, have strict standards when it comes to their husbands and sons. Maybe their own fathers/brothers were circumcised so they consider that to be the hygiene standard of the family and anything less is simply unacceptable to them. That would make sense.

        • #45577 Reply
          Martin
          Guest

          Matt, my partner’s previous two husbands were both circumcised, the first I think from birth but the second at her insistence. With me she wanted me cut as low and tight as possible, anything else was unacceptable. I was not allowed to disagree or argue. So I do think men should obey and do what their partner requires.

          • #45585 Reply
            matt
            Guest

            If they want to keep them, then yes. Absolutely.

    • #45579 Reply
      Dominic
      Guest

      Hi Stacey,

      what did you do so far to get your boyfriend to consider circumcision? Do you want that the frenulum also removed?

      I think you’re doing a great job to encourage him. Looks like that the seed is planted.

      Maybe it could be helpful that he associates circumcision with sex. Do you give him blow jobs? If no, would you do it when he’s circumcised? If yes, you can tell him how much you will like it after his circumcision.
      Someone mentioned to pull back the foreskin during penetration. Don’t know if that really gives an uncut men better feeling.
      Is he shaved bare? Does he watch porns … maybe you both together? If you know his preferences, you can search a video with a circumcised man and ask him what he thinks about the look? Maybe before/after pictures can be an option to encourage him.

      Wish you all the best and hope you can keep us up-to-date.

      • #45583 Reply
        Stacey
        Guest

        Dominic-

        I’ve been very casual about it. He’s known all along that it was my preference. I’m fine if he doesn’t get it done though, I’m not an ultimatum person like some seem to be.

        As for private time, we aren’t the usual pair, in a lot of ways. Oral isn’t either of our things, but, I’ll say my hands can take charge. On the sex front though I think he’s figuring out he doesn’t impress once he’s out of view.

    • #45580 Reply
      Reuben
      Guest

      If his foreskin basically functions properly (retracts, is healthy, he washes regularly), he’s been with other women before who have been content with it, and he associates pleasure with having a foreskin, then it’s understandable why he might be somewhat reluctant to undergo circumcision. If he seems to be more open to the idea now that’s great, but also think to what extent you are reading into what he’s saying. It’s important that he chooses to do this for himself, so I’d be addressing those points one by one so that he can appreciate how you feel it will be better for both you and him if he’s cut.

      Circumcision is clearly a permanent step – and for a man to embark on a journey to get circumcised for a woman involves a huge amount of commitment to a relationship. If for whatever reason you two don’t work out then it’s going to be something he has to explain somewhat to future partners, some of whom might not feel as you do. So making it clear that you are committed absolutely to him is vital – so that he knows there’s a good chance you’ll be growing old together and that this one step will make things better the rest of your lives.

      Regarding your previous experiences – make it clear that you love him utterly, and it’s not that he’s got bad technique, or that his penis doesn’t please you in other ways, but that in this one particular way you’ve found it better with guys in the past; whether it is making spontaneous blowjobs easier, finding a little more friction during sex adds to your sensation, or it makes you more often in the mood for being intimate.

      In terms of his pleasure – getting him to practice masturbation both alone and with you with the foreskin retracted (and if you want taped back) so he can appreciate that there are other sensations not just from the foreskin. That might be able to be extended to blowjobs and sex too. Having the foreskin retracted for a few days will allow him to see what it’s like wandering around with clothes touching the glans, how he can get used to those sensations.

      Ultimately though, if he’s really reluctant to get cut, he may just be trying to get you off his back saying he’ll consider it when he’s no real thought to follow it through. In that case you’ll need to decide whether the other aspects of the two of you balance out this issue or not. Also if this isn’t his thing, continually raising the subject may lead to you two ending anyway as it may start coming across as overly forceful.

      • #45584 Reply
        Stacey
        Guest

        Reuben,
        Yes, he is completely functional, but I think he’s realized that being able to bench press and pick up a dinner check isn’t all a girl wants anymore. It’s one thing to say it and another to go through with it though. In some ways I’m in the same spot with wanting to improve but being nervous to get something done. The thing is I don’t get even the slightest sense from him that this latest hint that he’s open to it is only for me.

        I might be wrong, but I think he’s most into the chasing, even if he knows deep down it’s impossible, some kind of male specimen status. I do understand a little, since I’d like to have a perfect body myself.

        I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t think he’s trying to buy time. Maybe he’s trying to figure out what we’re both going to do, or one of us, or whatever, but I think he’s trying to be open to figuring it out. At least I hope that’s what it is.

        • #45586 Reply
          matt
          Guest

          If he’s going after the perfect male specimen look, then a high and tight circumcison should be at the top of his list, surely. Appeal to his vanity.

    • #45589 Reply
      Graham
      Guest

      Stacey,

      I have to agree with Matt about encouraging your boyfriend to go for the more aesthetic look. A well-endowed nude male, with a smooth body and a neat, high and tight circumcision is a beautiful sight, and will always attract plenty of attention wherever you are, from other men and women.

      Graham, UK

      • #45596 Reply
        matt
        Guest

        It’s true. I must confess, I had the pleasure of a fantastic looking, entirely hairless, slim and fit young man, probably in his late teens/ early twenties, stood next to me in a swimming pool changing room a few years back. He removed his towel to reveal a lovely long flaccid penis, beautifully circumcised and topped with a large flared glans. I had all kinds of thoughts. I’d not have looked twice at a regular uncut cock, in fact i’m quite put off by the sight of one, but his was utterly exquisite. I felt like saying “you should thank your parents” but kept quiet. *blush*

    • #45605 Reply
      Cutlate
      Guest

      Hi Stacey,
      I’m interested to know how you came to have such a preference for circumcised men given both of you come from countries where it’s not the norm.
      Did you perhaps have bad experiences with uncut guys, or just much better ones with ones who were circumcised?

    • #45620 Reply
      Simon
      Guest

      Any suggestions on how one goes about getting the support of their partner in a non- circumcising country? It’s just something I’ve wanted for a long time. But my partner is indifferent. I wish I could get more encouragement. When the partner doesn’t offer support it kinda ruins the desire to do it.

    • #45621 Reply
      James
      Guest

      I live in a similar country. Partner was indifferent/couldn’t understand if not for serious medical concern – so I just went ahead and did it. All was great and I can recommend. If it’s what you really want, then go for it. It’s your body.

    • #45624 Reply
      Michael
      Guest

      I would encourage your male friend by saying that adult male circumcisions can be done painlessly and provide much better, easy personal hygiene. Medical studies show lower prostate cancer among circumcised males. Most important of all, medical studies show female intimate partners of circumcised males are less likely to develop cervical cancer. Many studies show that women in western countries generally prefer circumcised males. I deeply regret that I was not circumcised at birth. It cost me my first marriage when my wife insisted on it. I was young and afraid of possible pain and I refused. Finally, when working long hours on the job and I could not properly keep my foreskin completely clean and dry after voiding in public restrooms, I developed serious, irritating skin problems. Getting circumcised is the single best thing that I have ever done for myself. I can not recommend it enough to parents of newborn males and to older males. Best wishes.

    • #45627 Reply
      Gemma
      Guest

      Stacey,

      Here’s my take fwiw. You’ve tried the casual approach and he’s moved in the right direction. I think it’s time to sit down and have a proper discussion about it otherwise it may never get sorted. Probably with all pre-prepared reasoning.

      Have some literature about the hygienic benefits to hand or memorised. Benefits for both for him and for you. Also place a LOT of emphasis on the aesthetic appeal to you. Guys are always going to listen if a girl tells them they find something hot!

      I’m not sure I agree with those suggesting you make an appointment on his behalf, that may scare him off. It might be possible to do some groundwork with a clinic and ask if they might have somebody available to speak with you both over the phone or just for a no commitment consultation. Then if he starts making the right noises you can reveal that you’ve done a little gourndowkr already, which again will be a sign of your keenness.

      Please let us know how younget on.

    • #45631 Reply
      G S
      Guest

      My wife was very neutral about the idea of my circumcision (purely cosmetic). I brought the idea up a few times, until one day she said; If you really want it, DO IT. I made the appointment soon after, and was circumcised approx 4 months back. After the operation, she confessed, in hindsight, she preferred it without the skin. Needless to say. I LOVE IT.

    • #45647 Reply
      Oliver
      Guest

      My wife expressed a preference for circumcision prior to us getting married but did not insist that I have it done. After we were married I told my wife that I warming to the idea of being circumcised. She was very encouraging but said the final decision had to be mine. I went ahead with it much to the delight of my wife and have not regretted it. Most men need a nudge in the right directing but do not like to be pressed into something that they are unsure of.

    • #45670 Reply
      Stacey
      Guest

      Sorry it’s been so long, I haven’t forgotten about all of you! Thanks for all of the replies. We have had a lot of time to talk recently. Not just about him, but me to. We both have things we want to change about our bodies, and we’re both to the point where we’re comfortable with what we’re going to do and not do.
      For him, even though it was always my preference, he decided he is going to get the littlest snip all by himself. He was actually going to get it done this week but it got cancelled, but he is all ready. I said it before, but his feeling is he used to be like “I’m European, so I’m not” but he doesn’t like that feeling anymore when we have playtime.

    • #45674 Reply
      Peter
      Guest

      Go to stayathomemums.au for its juicy forums on circumcision. Well worth checking out.

      I was circumcised in 2014 but wish I had been done as a younger man

    • #45701 Reply
      Jack
      Guest

      I find site on Circumcision very interesting.It is user friendly and I encourage everyone to write about their Circumcision experience.I encourage every man to be circumcised .It is cleaner and healthier.It protects against urinary tract infection,sexually transmitted diseases including aids.It protects against inflammation of the foreskin and the glans,penis and prostate cancer and also cervical cancer on your wife.

    • #45824 Reply
      Stacey
      Guest

      I guess I should update everyone. We’ve been talking a lot about what we are going to do since I last posted. He’s not as committed anymore, unfortunately. He has taken this “let’s see” attitude. I get being nervous,or whatever it is, but I only want a decision.

      • #45827 Reply
        matt
        Guest

        Oh thats a shame. My missus says that now she has been with a circumcised man, she couldn’t tolerate a grown man who still has his foreskin. I’ve heard a couple other ladies I’ve worked with in the past say the very same. In the end its an aesthetic and hygiene standard that is much more appealing. Just as some men prefer their wives to be completed pubic hair free, once you have your preference based on experience, the alternative is simply not appealing anymore and you’d be quite happy to do without.
        How do you think this might affect your relationship together, going forwards. Women can have very strong opinions on the necessity of a mandatory circumcision standard for their family.

        • #45842 Reply
          Stacey
          Guest

          Matt,
          Thanks, he’s a great guy, but not perfect. I want him to be a 10, but I’ll accept a 9! I do want a 10 though.

          It’s almost as if you know us, one of the several “things” we’ve decided on doing is hair removal (for both of us). I don’t know if you’ve done it, but it stings A LOT. But, I’m tired of the mowing, and he doesn’t like the sweater either.

          Well, I guess I’m hoping I can turn him around on one of the other things.

          • #45846 Reply
            matt
            Guest

            Yes, we both use Veet Sensitive spray on once a week to stay smooth. It’s the easiest way and the results are perfection. Fyi your infections may 100% stop once he’s circumcised. Cystitis especially. It’d be a shame in my opinion to loose your labia unless he looses his foreskin too. It might even be pointless doing it.

            • #45854 Reply
              Stacey
              Guest

              Matt,
              Thanks a lot. It is more than that. I’ve been dealing with infections for a long time, and have tried a lot of treatments. I’ve seen more than one doctor and at this point they all agree, it’s either continue with medication forever, or surgery (labiaplasty isn’t really the right name for it, since for me it starts under my hood then spreads). Even if I’m not having sex I get them, so it really isn’t him.
              I’m not what matters though here. We’re both doing a lot of changing but I think it’s really about getting him to see how great he can be if he does a little more. I’m really glad you’re thinking about me, but know I’m doing this for me.

            • #45858 Reply
              matt
              Guest

              In that case, I wish you well. Unhooding the clitoris and removing the inner labia will hopefully help. A friend of mine had a girlfriend (now his wife actually) who couldn’t stand for him to go down on her. I said “that’s a first” and joked “i bet she doesn’t like chocolate either” but it was because she got infections too and it was a constant annoyance for her. Such a shame to suffer, and if there’s something that carries with it some hope that can end that suffering, then you should go with it. Female circumcision has a bad press, more so than male circumcision, but I guess there are times when it is medically necessary. I still think your partner losing his foreskin is equally necessary though. I know girls who once they switched to a circumcised partner, their bouts of cystitis stopped for example.

      • #45836 Reply
        Dominic
        Guest

        Hello Stacey!
        Too bad the appointment was canceled and your boyfriend is taking the “let’s see” attitude.
        I am also European and can only recommend him to be circumcised. The advantages have already been mentioned here. Even as an adult he can still get circumcised afterwards.
        You wrote that he no longer likes the feeling during your playtime itself either. Does this mean the feeling of his foreskin?
        Sure, the decision to have the operation must come from him. The most you can do is give him encouragement that he wants to do it. Is he afraid of the surgery or pain afterwards?

        Does he find a penis without foreskin more beautiful than with foreskin? Does he like the feeling when his foreskin is retracted? Does he often wear his foreskin pulled back on his own? If you don’t already, you can often tell him how nice you would find his penis without the foreskin. You can also, for example, always pull back his foreskin when you see him naked and then tell him that it’s better that way. He may even like these little hints, but you can decide that better. However, he should not be pressed too much, otherwise it may be that he does not want out of defiance.

        • #45844 Reply
          Stacey
          Guest

          Dominic,
          I didn’t mean to sound like he cancelled. He got looked at, and the doctor agreed he should considered getting circumcised. He just hasn’t gone the next step and scheduled it.

          I guess I should explain a little more- we’re both considering getting a few things done, but related to this part of what started all of this is I get a lot of infections, and he has to get treated when he catches them. My doctor has been telling me to get a labiaplasty to prevent my problems, and to stop spreading them, for a while. I’m a bit of a baby though and haven’t until now, but now that I’m ready to get my problems taken care of, he’s feeling like it’s ok for him to stay uncirced even if it’s better for him also. It’s going to be a while though because I can’t get an appointment for myself yet.

    • #45847 Reply
      Gemma
      Guest

      I feel for you Stacey: so close as well. I’ll keep my fingers crossed he comes around

      • #45857 Reply
        Stacey
        Guest

        Thanks Gemma, he goes every direction on this. I think he’d like it, he’s said he’d like it. I’m not dumb enough to think it isn’t going to be pleasant, but everything worth doing has some suffering involved to get through to the end.

        • #45863 Reply
          Gemma
          Guest

          That’s why we have the babies lol x

          • #45866 Reply
            Stacey
            Guest

            Gemma,
            OMG we (my guy and I) had this same conversation earlier. I’m not sure I want a child, but if I do I so want a real birth. There’s something about it that is what is best. He thinks having the kid plucked out of me is better because I wouldn’t be, in his words, “a tunnel”. Ugh. Its the old gag, “Some extra stitches doctor, for him.” (But really for me!)

    • #45849 Reply
      Robert Martin
      Guest

      To Stacy:regarding your partner and wanting him circumcised is a personal choice between you. Tell him how you feel. Regarding your labialplasty, why? As a former OR RN, unless you have Dyspareunia (painful sex) due to large labia minora, I personally don’t think it’s necessary, unless you feel better about yourself image wise. Every woman is different. I am pro circumcision, needed adult medically necessary, yet other benefits came from the circumcision. Having assisted in labialplasty, reconsider why? I did not read your reasons if listed. Try a water based lubricant if that is an issue. If cosmetic, seek a well qualified plastic surgeon.

      • #45855 Reply
        Stacey
        Guest

        RM,
        It isn’t sex related at all, it’s a lot more complicated. I get a lot of infections, and have fora long time. It really has nothing to do with sex, I’m just susceptible to them. I’ve been seeking doctors for a long time about it, and tried a lot of things, this is really the only thing left. I put it off for a while, almost 5 years, but I can’t live like this anymore. Even if he decides he doesn’t want to be circumcised, that doesn’t change me wanting to be comfortable.

    • #45862 Reply
      Oliver
      Guest

      My wife was prone to repeated re-infections prior to me being circumcised. Post circumcision re-infections are a thing of the past. I did not need much encouragement to be circumcised and I considered it to be the responsible thing do for someone that I loved.

      • #45867 Reply
        Stacey
        Guest

        Oliver,
        It’s so great that you got circed so your wife wouldn’t get infections. I know what it’s like, I’m the one that is spreading the infections. It’s taken me a long time to get to the point where I’m ready to deal with it once and for all. I’ve tried a lot of other things, but it keeps coming back. And no, it really is me. We’ve tried using condoms, and we even tried complete abstinence for a while- it’s me, unfortunately.
        I do still want him to get snipped though. A little bit because it is more desirable, a little bit because he’s said he wants it, but mostly because, like you found, I think it’s also healthier for him.

    • #45894 Reply
      Stacey
      Guest

      The latest is we had a good talk about all of this. He went very deep into what he thinks, which is mixed. To put it plain, what I do and what he does to him aren’t one to one, we are each doing our thing. I completely get that. As for him, he likes the look, that it’s expected he’ll be, and that I like it that way. He doesn’t so much like that it might hurt to get done, some people that know he isn’t will wonder why he had it done, or that it isn’t that common outside of the US.

      He says he’s still thinking about it, but needs some time. He’s going to go to the appointment he has to get looked at, but hasn’t decided what he’s going to do after that.

      • #45898 Reply
        matt
        Guest

        It’s common by the time youre in your 40’s in the UK (a non circumcising country since 1947). About 20% I’d say. Its just that nobody talks about it. clinics have popped up all over the uk to satisfy the demand. Theres no religions pre-req to getting a circumcision done in a dedicated clinic. He’d be in and out in an hour and a half. Tell him to stop worrying about what other people think and start worrying about what you think. Man up.

        • #45906 Reply
          Stacey
          Guest

          Matt,
          Thanks, we wouldn’t be going back to the UK, probably Spain, Portugal, or maybe France. But you’re right, a lot more guys have had the little snip down there than anyone wants to say, but everyone knows it. Especially my friends (the under 30s) that are still there- there’s a phrase that doesn’t translate well but it’s close to “the ones I don’t have to be sympathetic for”. I’m completely fair to him though – we are together, but we play with others. So he gets to think about maybe some don’t want a guy that’s had the little snip.

    • #45895 Reply
      GS
      Guest

      Baby steps. You’ve planted the seed…. Now it’s time to water it…. The idea will grow on him. Just don’t over-do it. See it as an UPGRADE.

    • #45922 Reply
      trey
      Guest

      i have wanted to get circucmised since my first wife mentioned it. when we separated, i was still uncircucmised. i have brought it up with my current wife, but she is not supportive which is disappointing. i want her support. is there anything i can do to turn her opinion around?

      • #45923 Reply
        Will B
        Guest

        Trey
        One approach you might consider is this: if she won’t support circumcision, maybe she will support you. Tell her how much circumcision means to you personally, and explain your reasons for wanting the procedure. Don’t try to sell her on circumcision as such, especially if she is strongly opposed to it, but ask her to try to understand your reasons from your point of view, and support your right to decide what to do with your own body, even if she doesn’t agree.

        • #45924 Reply
          Will B
          Guest

          PS
          this is also sort of a lesson in procrastination. Think it over by all means, but if you want it, get it, and don’t delay. You don’t know what the future may bring.

      • #45925 Reply
        Reuben
        Guest

        Have given this advice previously Trey – but ultimately you need to think about which it is that is your priority; getting cut or continuing in the relationship.

        If the relationship is your priority then first off you need to understand why she is not supportive. Is it previous issues with cut guys in terms of finding sex rougher than she’d like, wanking difficult, or just them feeling unhappy about being cut for example? Is it that she just hasn’t had experience with cut guys, therefore is unfamiliar with how it looks, doesn’t see need to change or doesn’t want to have to do without sex in the recovery period for example?

        Moving on from that, and assuming that she isn’t outright hostile you can subtly introduce circumcision without being explicit about it – getting her to wank you using lube over glans and a retracted foreskin, holding foreskin back during sex, keeping it back more often eventually for longer periods such as overnight. If she gets used to you looking that way, and how it feels when you are together she then might be more understanding.

        If she is hostile to the idea of getting cut then you may be best to drop the idea for now, lest you start making her question the relationship full stop.

        On the other hand if your priority is getting cut simply let her know that you are doing this for yourself, and that she has a simple choice to accept it and support you, or move on.

        • #45940 Reply
          stefan
          Guest

          Very well said, Reuben!

          I’d like to add that you most likely will be happier with the result of an elective adult circumcision if YOU are the one choosing it–not someone else.

          All the best,
          s.

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