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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Jen 3 months ago.

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  • #1623 Reply

    Sarah

    Hi everyone,

    My boyfriend got circumcised about 5 months ago now and even after all this time we can’t have sex yet. I started giving him blow jobs after about 3 weeks and now I’m sure that was too soon. He’s so sensitive and the frenulum is still quite painful for him.
    We’ve been to the doctor and are waiting for a referral from a specialist.
    I know there is nothing I can do until we hear from the doctor, we’ve since stopped any intercourse whatsoever to try and let it heal.

    The advice I’m really seeking is more relationship based. When me met in December last year we couldn’t have sex due to the over-tight foreskin and now, 10 months into our relationship it feels like we are no closer. I don’t care at all but it’s really getting him down. He wants to be able to take our relationship to that level but is physically unable. With our year anniversary coming up I know he’s feeling more and more pressured.
    Now whenever I express any sexual desires for him, all it does is make him feel guilty and embarrassed. I love him and want him to know that I am more than happy to wait as long as he needs, I’ve told him this but he doesn’t like talking about it and I don’t want to bring it up if it upsets him.
    I really just want to know if there’s anyone out there who has experienced a similar situation and has any advice as to how I can let him know I’m attracted to him without adding to the pressure. Is there anything else I can be doing to him that will give him pleasure without hurting him?

    Sarah

  • #1625 Reply

    Choice Maker
    Keymaster

    Sarah,

    I am going to assume that your boyfriend’s circumcision was not somehow botched so badly that the incision site has still not healed after five months.

    Given that your boyfriend’s phimosis was so severe that you were unable to have sex, and his circumcision to solve it five months ago, the problem is almost certainly not one of further healing. I suspect that his glans had very rarely, if ever, been exposed before his circumcision. The glans is extremely sensitive, but your boyfriend’s brain has grown up “calibrated” for a glans that was never touched directly and stimulated only by pressure from within his foreskin. This sounds like an extreme case of what every man circumcised as an adult goes through: adjusting to the significant increase in stimulation of the glans.

    For most men, this just means walking around with half an erection for a month until their mind tunes out the feel of their glans rubbing against their underwear. In your case, it sounds like the increase in sensation from the glans is overpowering to the point of unpleasantness. This will pass eventually, but I doubt you are eager to wait for nature to take its course.

    Luckily, there’s a pretty easy answer for you: benzocaine. Commonly sold under the brand name “Anbesol” for toothaches, benzocaine liquids and gels are also quite effective at reducing unwanted penile stimulation. Performance-enhancing condoms, such as Trojan’s “Climax Control” line, solve this problem by including a small amount of benzocaine in the condom’s lubricant. For you, though, I recommend buying a 20% benzocaine liquid or gel (sold in any pharmacy’s oral care section) and pouring some into the head of a condom to be worn by your boyfriend. I think you will both find the results spectacular.

    Lastly, a word of advice concerning blowjobs that you probably don’t need but I’ll bring up anyway just in case: absolutely no teeth, ever! If you have difficulty keeping your mouth open wide enough to ensure your teeth never touch his penis, try drawing your lips into your mouth to cover them. This may feel awkward at first, but while your lips are quite used to contact with your teeth, even the best blowjob can be ruined by accidental tooth contact.

  • #8034 Reply

    suze

    So you don’t think there is any negative side if my husband goes through with it? I don’t want him to regret it or me.

  • #8090 Reply

    Jen

    Suze just find a good specialist and your husband will be fine, you will both benefit from it in the long run

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